Lock, Shock and Barrel Meet Warsaw!
by Meah.mai
Summary: Yes! Another Chapter in which the trio are sucked into a black hole and the only why out is by realizing the true meaning of being a father. Enjoy kids
1. morning and announcement things

Disclaimer: I don't own lock, shock, or barrel they're tim burton's... all other characters own themselves...

Morning recess

Lock, shock, and barrel enter gym and see people playing basketball, hackysack and talking

Shock: Looks boring already

Lock: watches a person miss the basket for the 15 time they can't even make a basket!

Lock and Shock: sad...

Barrel: is it over yet?? I'm hungry!

Lock: i wish...

Shock: your ALWAYS hungry...

Barrel: am not!

Shock: are too!

Barrel starts to jump onto shock but lock holds him back. Shock sticks out her tounge, barrel growls

Lock: whispers to barrel later lets him go

Barrel: fine...

people start to head to the door

Shock: time to go grabs her bag

Barrel: FINALLY!

Annucements

Maleigha: i heard we're getting some new kids...

Sarah: about time... hope they aren't like eithan... looks arcoss the room at eithan who's making his calf jiggle by slapping it

Maleigha: yeah...

Amanda: look! points to the door that's them!

Sarah: shoves Amanda's arm down stop pointing! it's rude...

Amanda: whatever...

Maleigha: they look oddly familiar...

Mrs. Kane: class this is Lock, Shock, and Barrel (A/N: i know barrel's younger than lock and shock but deal with it!!)

Maleigha, Nicole, and Brittany W.: no way...

Mrs. Kane: you three can sit over there between maleigha and eithan...

go over and sit. lock and shock at the table with maleigha, barrel at the desk next to eithan

Maleigha: glancing over at shock who's next to her

Shock: what?

Maleigha: nothing... looks away

Shock: to lock this girl scaring me...

Lock: looks over at maleigha she won't be a problem... grins

Maleigha: hears whole conversation and shudders

Lock and shock giggle

Barrel: to lock i think this guy's homosexual...

Lock: why? looks over eithan who grins and winks at him uhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Barrel: see!!!!

Intercom: please stand for the pledge and move on to your FOCUS activity

everyone stands

Lock: to shock do you know the pledge?

Shock: no...

Barrel: I plegde allegence to the underworld, where most people in this class will go, and to all the devils, with a witch they stand, five nations, under Jack, always invisible, with liberty and snake and spider stew for all!!

everybody looks at him, lock and shock roll their eyes

Barrel: What?

Mrs. Kane: that is not exceptable in my class! You shall say the pledge of allegence to the flag correctly or you will have a saturday!

all the students creep slowly to the door to escape the wrath of MRS. KANE!!!!!!

Barrel: But...

Mrs. Kane: Don't argue with me!

Barrel: But I can't...

Kane: Not another word! Now go to the gym!

Barrel: Why?

Shock: just do it!

Barrel: or what??

shock just glares at him

Barrel: point taken, to the gym we go!!!!

Mrs. Kane: not another eithan...

on the way down to the gym

Barrel: wow that teacher's a bitch...

Shock: i know really...

Lock: did you see what that eithan guy did!?!?!!!!??????

Shock: no

Lock: he blew me a kiss!!!!!! What's wrong with these people!?!?!?!?!?!???? clings to shock's arm hide me from the madness!!!!!

Shock: No and get off me!!! shakes lock off

Ms. Dustin: Quiet in the hallways!!!!!!

Lock: but you're yelling...

Ms. Dustin: Are you talking back to me?

Lock: no ma'am

Ms. Dustin: looks him in the eye you better not be... walks off

Barrel: creepy women...

Shock: come on... we're late!

yeah... i sucked i know... but the rest is better... i think...


	2. focus

Disclaimer: once again I don't own any of these characters but myself...

FOCUS!!!

Barrel: looks over at the stage what are they doing?

Lock: dunno... looks like something stupid though... like everything else here...

the macarena starts playing and people start dancing to it

Shock: what's that horrid sound? And what are they doing??

Lock: told you there was madness! tons and tons on MADNESS!!!!!!

Mr. Kane: dancing something that isn't even close to the macarena or on the beat Come on! You know this! Just go and have FUN!!!! takes Lock's hands and starts dancing with him

Shock and Barrel laugh uncontrollably

Mr. Kane: You want a turn? takes Barrel and swings him around like the do-sey-do thing

Shock hides behind a horrified Lock

Lock: hey! you wouldn't save me so why should i hide you?

Shock: cuz you love me, now shut up before he finds me!

Mr. Kane: wasn't there one more? looks around

Lock: no... glances behind him

Barrel: yes! she's behind Lock!

Shock: Barrel you traidor!!! is about to tackle him as mr. kane takes her hands and dances with her, people around them laugh

the song changes to the cha cha slide and everyone's clapping, mr. kane goes away

Lock: now what are they doing?

Shock: clapping...

Song: to the left

everyone goes to the left, then the right, then jumps and spins around

Barrel: I like this one! follows along enthusiastically

Shock and Lock: oh god... look at each other, shrug, and follows along with no enthusiasiam

Song: How low can you go?

Shock: I am NOT doing THAT!

Lock: me neither

Barrel's already doing it and then going to the top...

Song: ONE HOP!!!!

end of focus

Barrel: That was fun!!!! i wish halloween town did that!!!

Lock: I don't... people here scare me... and what's up with that sweater that has Jack's face on it?

Shock: What?

Lock points to the person in the sweater

Barrel: oh sure JACK gets a fan club but WE don't??? It was hard work getting that sandy claws!!!

Shock: I know really!

Lock: i hope we don't have math next...

Shock: how can you think of math at a time like this?? to barrel that's probably why that girl looked at me weird...

Barrel: yeah... but that kid's still a homo...

Lock: you HAD to bring that up!!

Barrel: yep, that's what i'm here for!

math class next... i hate math...


	3. Math he he he HAHAHA!

Disclaimer: i still don't own these people... cept me... yeah.. ON WITH MATH!!!!!!!!!!

Math class

Mrs. Kane: for math we'll be going into mrs. littlefield's room! all you'll need in a peice of paper and a pencil.

Lock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO anything but math! goes up to mrs. kane and clings to her arm PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Kane: Get off of me and go to next door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock: lets go of mrs. kane your mean...

Mrs. Kane: excuse me?

Lock: nothing!

Mrs. Kane: looks into Locks eyes it better have been nothing...

Lock says nothing and goes to hide behind Shock

Lock: Why do they all do that to me?

Shock: dunno... kinda creepy though...

Lock: they're out to get me I swear!

Shock: we've only been here for twenty minutes!

Lock: It's only been twenty minutes!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shock: Come on... grabs lock's arm and drags him to mrs. L's room now sit down and behave!

Lock: your not my mother! you can't tell me what to do!

Shock: Wanna bet?

Lock: Yeah I d...

Mrs. L: If you can hear me clap once...

clap

Mrs. L: good, now I understand we have three new students in our team. Lock, Shock, Barrel, welcome to Warsaw! Now addresses the class who here knows what 789.45 divided by 5 to the 2nd power multiplied by 789 times 5th power plus 3078974 equals?

crickets

Barrel: Oh, OH! raises his hand up and is jumping in his seat I know I KNOW!!!

Mrs. L: eagerly yes?

Barrel: well, first off you need to figure out what 5 to the 2nd power is and that's 25. Then you divide 789.45 by 25 which is 31.578. Next you need to find out what 789 to the 5th power is and that's 3.0576306e+14 and you multiply that by 31.578 because that's what 789.45 divided by 25 was and it equals 9.6553859087c+15. Lastly you add 3078974 to 9.6553859087c+15 and your answer should be 9.6553859118e+15.

Mrs. L: astonished that's, that's correct...

Lock and Shock just stare at Barrel who takes out a lolli and sticks it in his mouth

Shock: where the hell did THAT come from?

Mrs. Kane: No swearing!!!!!!!!

Shock: sorry...

Lock: told you!

Shock: shut up...

Lock: MAKE ME!!! 

Kane: Lock! Quiet this instint!!!

Lock: But she...

Kane: no

Lock: but she told me to...

Kane: do you WANT a saturday?

Lock: no...

Kane: then SHUT UP!!!!!

Lock: mumbling make me...

shock smirks

Lock: dont' think I didn't see that, Shock. Cuz I did!

Shock: and what are YOU going to do about it?

Lock: just you wait shock... just you wait...

William: Are you three like related or something?

Barrel: who are you?

William: william

Lock: why do you want to know?

William: cuz you bicker a lot

Shock: no... but we've known eachother forever

William: so you all moved here together?

Lock: you can say that...

William: what do you me-

Kane: What did I say about talking!?

Lock, Shock, Barrel, William: sorry...

Kane: you better be!

Sarah: whispering perfect pairing...

Maleigha: also whispering what do you mean?

Sarah: still whispering william's just as dumb as them... well not barrel... but lock and shock...

Maleigha: again with the whispering don't you say anything about lock!

Sarah: you guess ooooooooooooooooooo maleigha likes lock

Maleigha: I do NOT... it's just not nice to pick on the new kids...

Sarah: then how come you defended only lock and not-

Lock: to mrs. kane They're talking! points to maleigha and sarah

Kane: you two! stop talking

Maleigha and Sarah: yes mrs. kane...

Kane: Thank you

Lock: your welcome!

Kane: not YOU, them, they actually listen to me

Lock: I listen!!! i just choose not to obay or not...

Kane: SATURDAY!!!!!!

Lock: ummmmm... that's going to be a problem...

Kane: why?

Lock: uhhhhh... my dad's coming to visit from uhhhhhhhhhhh... Holland!

Kane: i don't beleive you

Lock: fine... i'm going home that day...

Kane: home?

Shock: to lock stop talking NOW!

Lock: yeah... to visit

Kane: TO BAD! I expect you here at 9:00 am, no excuses!!!

Barrel: jack's gonna get mad...

Lock: shut up... folds arms and sinks down into his seat

Shock: told you to be quiet...

Lock: no you didn't!

Shock: yes I did!

Kane: SATURDAY!!!!!!!!

Shock: but I can't !!!!!!!!!

Kane: i expect you there at 9:00 am... NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!!!

Shock: copies lock great... looks over at barrel and smirks

Barrel: what??

Shock: oh nothing...

Mrs. L: well then... back to math!!!! Now algerbra isn't as hard as it may se-

Shock: OW!!! hits barrel with math book

Barrel: what'd I do???

Shock: stabbed me with a pencil thats what!!

Barrel: no I didn'!

Lock: Yes you did! I saw it happen!!

William: i didn't see anything...

Lock, Shock, Barrel: SHUT UP!!!!

Lock: this isn't about you!

Shock: so stay out of it!

Barrel: I didn't do it!!!!!!!!!!!

Kane: shut up Shut Up SHUT UP!!!!! This is a learning enviroment! I will not have someone wreck my learning enviroment!!!!

Shock: pretends not to hear her Yes you did!!!!!

Barrel: Prove it!!!!

Lock: she doesn't HAVE to prove it!

they continue to argue as the bell rings and everybody rushes out of the classroom to once again be safe from the WRATH OF MRS. KANE!!!!!!!!

Barrel: Yes she does!!! I'm not getting a stupid saturday just cuz both of you have one!!!! i unlike you WANT to be good!!!!!

Lock: who says we don't WANT to be good?

Shock: Yeah!!!

Kane: ALL THREE OF YOU GET OUT!!!!!!!

Lock, Shock, Barrel: ok...

Kane: that was weird...

Mrs. L: do you think we should have sent them to the office?

Kane: nah, mrs. gray-ham can take care of them now...

They both fall into hystarical laughter

Barrel: wonder what they're laughing bout... 


	4. Language arts class! pitty

Disclaimer: once again I don't own any of these characters but myself...

Language Arts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shock: Where do we go now?

Lock: uhhhhhhhhhh (pulls out an electronic organizer) language arts...

Barrel: where'd you get that??

Lock: ...internet...

Barrel: I WANT ONE!!!

Mrs. Dustin: what did I tell you before!?

Barrel: I forget...

Mrs. Dusitn: QUIET IN THE HALLS!!!!

Barrel: oh...

now in the classroom

Mrs. Graham: welcome you three to warsaw, hope you are enjoying your first day!

Shock: other than danceing this morning and getting a saturday, everything's been just fine...

Graham: you got a saturday! poor little children! you shall receive pitty from me... now take your seats please...

Lock: to shock and barrel she takes pitty on us?

Shock: we don't even deserve pitty!

Barrel: it feels weird... it's like she thinks we're little angels or something...

Shock: yeah...

they sit down in the back

Graham: strictly everybody turn to page 374!

(sound of pages flipping)

Shock: we don't have a bo-

Graham: RAISE YOUR HAND!!!

Shock: raises hand

Graham: nicely yes?

Shock: uhhh, we don't have a book

Graham: why not?

Shock: cuz we haven't gotten any yet...

Graham: there are some over there in the corner

(Lock, shock and barrel look at her with blank stares)

Graham: well go and get one!

(they go and quickly get a book, class snickers)

Graham: be quiet!!!!!

Barrel: they like to say that don't they?

Graham: YOU! (points) i can now understand why you got a saturday!

Barrel: bursts into tears I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!!!!! (runs out of the classroom)

Sarah: wow... emo much...

Shock: harsh...

Barrel: (now in the doorway) I'm NOT emo!!! (bursts into tears again)

Sarah: uh-huh...

Maleigha: (elbows sarah stop it before they skin you alive!

Sarah: I'd like to see them tr-

Lock: (pulls out a long knife syph thing and points it at sarah)

Sarah: (small voice) never mind!

Maleigha: smiles told you!

Sarah: be quiet!

Maleigha: no!

Lock: you two are worse than us!

Maleigha: thank you!

Lock: that's not a good thing...

Maleigha: it is now!

Lock: your mental...

Graham: put that knife down!!!! GO TO THE OFFICE!!!!

Lock: gladly

Shock: your leaving me!?!?! I thought you were my best friend and now your leaving me with these idiots!!!!!

Class: HEY!

Shock: well it's true!

Maleigha: at least for some people... (looks over at eithan)

Lock: NOT HIM!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Maleigha: your weird...

Lock: (runs to the office)

Shock: I'm all alone!!!

Graham: now! page 374, in harry potter three, talks about werewolves. BUT HERE, it talks about the evil muntin grammer monsters!!!

Shock: great...

Maleigha: I know...

Graham: (hystarical laughter) now write a 20 page story using proper grammer usage and not jerk fish!!!!

Shock: O uhhhhhhhhh

Sarah: long story... lots of yelling...

Graham: NOW WRITE!!!

Class: (gets out laptops types really REALLY fast)

Barrel: (comes back from where ever he was before) HI!

Shock: I'M SAVED!!!!!!

Graham: we are writing... so WRITE!!

Barrel: yes ma'am! (sits down and starts writing

Shock: (to barrel) your not really writing are you?

Barrel: nope! or maybe I am... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -O

Lock: (comes back from office smiling, sits next to shock)

Shock: (to lock) what happened?

Lock: I'll tell you later...

Shock: tell meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Graham: how dare you interfere with the writingness of this room!!!

Shock: i hate jack...

Lock: why?

Shock: he was the one that sent us here!!!!

Lock: oh yeah...

Shock: your so dumb!

Lock: am NOT!

Shock: are too so just deal with it

Sarah: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! your interfereing with my thoughts!!!!

Lock: so what! it's just a story... probably a dumb story too...

Sarah: it's not stupid!!!!!!!!!

Graham: SARAH!!!

Sarah: sorry...

Lock: suck up...

Sarah: i am NOT a suck up!!!!!!!!

Lock: uh, yeah you are!

Sarah: maleigha tell him I'm not a suck up!!!

Maleigha: ...

Lock: even your friend thinks you are

Maleigha: i didn't say anything!

Graham: how many times must i tell you? SHUT UP!!!!!!

Lock, Sarah, Maleigha: sorry...

Sarah: you just said sorry HA!!!

Lock: no I di-

Shock: don't deniy it cuz i heard you say it!

Graham: should i send YOU to the office as well?

Shock: i thought you felt pitty on us!

Graham: (sweetly) i do dear (not so sweatly) your just disrupting my class and i WON'T have that!!!

Shock: your disrupting your OWN class as well...

Graham: Office... NOW!

Shock: whatever... (leaves)

Barrel: i take it I'll be next?

Lock: yep!

Barrel: great...

(five minutes later)

Shock: what did you do to them? they looked possesed or something...

Lock: all i did was scare them...

Shock: how?

Lock: smiles that's for me to know and you to never find out!

Shock: you suck...

Lock: i know... -

Barrel: how do you spell purple?

Lock: i dunno...

Shock: uhhhhhhhhhhh

Sarah: p-u-r-p-l-e

Barrel: thanks!!

Shock: what are you writing?

Barrel: (starts humming kidnap the sandy claws)

Lock and Shock: ah...

Sarah: would you stop humming

Barrel: make me!

Sarah: i would but i don't want to touch you

Shock: i wouldn't either...

Barrel: you already have

Lock: for some odd reason this sounds wrong...

Maleigha: just a bit...

Sarah: you pervs...

Maleigha: your thinking that too...

Sarah: that's the scary part...

Shock and Barrel: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(the bell rings)

Graham: this is due tomarrow when you walk threw the door!!!

Class: awwwwwwwwww...


	5. dramaeth kinda dumb

Disclaimer: once again I don't own any of these characters but myself...

Drama!!!!!!! Please excuse all craziness in this chapter... I'm wicked hyper!

Mrs. Susi: welcome to drama Lock, Shock, and Barrel... you can take a seat over next to eithan.

Lock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs out of the room screaming)

Shock: leave ME with the idiot!!!!

Barrel: I'm not an idiot! (hits shock in the head)

Shock: HEY!!! (takles barrel) (a/n: can't spell either...)

Class: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!

Sarah: they're soo immature...

Maleigha: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!!!!!

Susi: Stop it! STOP IT THIS INSTINT!!!!!!!

(Barrel punches shock in the face, shock shoves barrel into a wall and starts attacking him)

Lock: (comes back) FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

Shock: OH BE QUIET LOCK!!!! (kicks him)

Lock: (tackles shock) DON'T KICK ME!!!!!!!

Susi: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!

(everyone freezes)

Colby: the teacher just sweared...

Class: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Susi: now... you (points to barrel who's nose is bleeding) go to the nurse. and you two (points to lock and shock who aren't hurt at all) sit down now!!! I will have order in this class... I WILL HAVE ORDER!!!!!

Lock: order... got it

Susi: (glares at lock)

Lock: what?

Susi: what is your name boy?

Lock: nervously why?

Susi: DON'T ASK ME WHY JUST SAY THE DAMN NAME!!!!!

Lock: lock...

Susi: (stares at him)

Lock: (to shock) she's scaring me...

Susi: just sit down...

(SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Susi: we're going to continue with our projects... remember they're due tuesday!!!!!.!!!!!

(Everybody gets into their groups and does whatever they do...)

Katie: hi Lock, wanna work with us?

Lock: uhhhhhhhhhh looks over at the girls behind her

Shock: he's working with us! (takes lock and drags him away)

Katie: (take's lock's other arm) it's not up to YOU it's up to him! (to lock) so do you?

Lock: uhhhhhhhhhh... (looks at katie then to shock)

Shock: i already know who he's gonna choose so just go away!!

Katie: NO!!

Lock: this is awkward...

Katie: Just choose someone already!!

Lock: uhhhhhhhhhh... ummmmmmmmmmmm...

Shock: it can't be THAT hard... me who you've known all your life or her who just basically popped out of nowhere!

Lock: I choose (closes his eyes and points) YOU!!! (opens them to find eithan smiling creepylike at him) no... No... NO!!! NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (eithan walks away all sadlike...) Shock! I choose Shock!!

Katie: HER!!! why her!!! she's ugly and has purple hair!!!

Nicole: HEY!!!!

Lock: no explainations just DEAL!!!

Katie: but... but i LOVE YOU!!!!

Class: (freezes and stares at katie)

Katie: it's true!!!!! ever since i saw you on that movie i loved you!!!!!!!!

Lock: this is getting creepy...

Shock: just back slowly away...

Barrel: What'd I miss!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!????

Maleigha: a lot... katie loves lock...

Sarah: so don't you

Maleigha: i do not!!!!

Lock: cool... people i don't even know love me!!!

Shock: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Lock: (looks at shock)

Shock: what? you already know that!

Lock: that's kinda weird... you kick me and then say you love me... and then you'll kick me again!

Shock: that's life! or death... I can't really tell...

Katie: so i love you, maleigha loves you, and shock loves you... WHO ELSE LOVES YOU???

Eithan: I DO!!!!!!!!

(everybody looks at him)

Amanda: I knew it!!! I KNEW HE WAS A HOMO!!!!!

Lock: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shock: YOUR SICK!!! SICK SICK SICK!!!!!! EVEN THE MAYOR ISN'T AS SICK AS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maleigha: how sick IS he???

Shock: pretty sick... he tried to rape jack once...

Susi: ENOUGH WITH THIS TALK!!!!!! BACK TO WORK!!!!

Barrel: do you even know what we're doing??

Lock and Shock: nope!

Barrel: COOL!!! (quietly) lets sneek out and trash mrs. kane's room!

(lock and shock look at each other)

Shock: sounds fun!

Lock: i'm in!!!

Barrel: three of a kind

Lock: birds of a feather

Shock: now and forever! (a/n: yeah i kno... i'm thinking it too...)

(they quietly sneek out of the classroom)

Mrs. Kane's Room!!!!!

Lock: no one's there... come on!

Barrel: this is gonna be sooo much FUN!

Shock: goes over to the desk what to do...

(all three look at eachother)

Lock, Shock, Barrel: PARTY!!!!!!!!

(go around ripping up papers and scribble on the chalkboard and knock over desks and that kind of stuff)

Lock: (covered in chalk dust) i can't WAIT to see her face!!

Shock: (writing on the walls with perminate marker) i know! it's gonna be sooo funny!!!

Barrel: (throwing things every where) I know!!!

(bell rings)

Shock: shit!

(they run out of the room)


	6. Lunch finally

Lunch time!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A/N: yes... eithan's REALLY a homo...)

Barrel: I'm hungry!!!

Lock: me too...

Shock: you're in luck... it's lunch!

Lock and Barrel: YEA!!!!!

Lunch room line thing

Katie: where were you lock? i was so worried!

Lock: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Katie: and why are you covered in chalk dust? Did shock do something to you?

Shock: I didn't' do anything to him!!!!

Katie: oh sure...

Emily: You really like this guy? he's so...

Katie: he's sooo WHAT?

Emily: never mind...

Katie: i thought so... to lock so where did you go?

Lock: WE went to do something for the drama teacher...

Katie: you're lying

Lock: looks at her like he does Jack no i'm not...

Katie: don't be rude to me! I DO love you you know...

Lock: i know...

Katie: and are you happy for that?

Lock: no... not really...

Katie: WHAT!? WHY!?

Lock: cuz i like shock so deal with it!!!!

Katie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! she explodes into little tiny peices of confetti

Emily: YOU KILLED HER!!!!!

Lock: I didn't do anything!!

Shock: you love me?

Emily: YES YOU DID!!!!!!!!! YOU WERE THE ONLY GUY WHO EVER TURNED HER DOWN AND YOU KILLED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock: go me!!!

Shock: you LOVE me?

Emily: NO! NOT GO YOU!!!! YOU SHOULD DIE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID!!!!

Lock: it's kinda too late for that...

Shock: you actually LOVE me!?

Emily: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S KINDA TOO LATE?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!???!?!?!

Lock: i'm already dead...

Shock: why didn't you tell me before!!!???

Emily: YOU'RE DEAD!?!?!?!???!!!

Lock: yep, have been for forty years...

Shock: to barrel he loves me...! barrel just looks at her

Emily: FOURTY YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock: yeah... forty LONG years...

Shock: i can't believe he loves me...

Emily: YOU STILL SHOULD DIE!!!!!!!

Lock: can't...

Shock: lock loves… ME!

Emily: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T???????????

Lock: i already told you!

Shock: he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me...

Emily: WELL GET UNDEAD SO I CAN KILL YOU!!!!

Lock: uh... that's kinda impossible you know...

Shock: you love m-

Barrel: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crickets

Barrel: thank you!

they get their lunch and sit down at the other side of the table where maleigha, sarah, nicole, amanda and brittney sit

Barrel: god you guys are annoying!

Lock: well that girl started it!

Barrel: well shock didn't have to keep saying he loves me 15 million times!!!

Shock: you shut up!!

Barrel: well you were!

Lock: you were?

Shock: uhhhhhhhhh... no...

Lock: i don't believe you

Shock: you shouldn't...

Barrel: pokes his food with his fork what IS this?

Shock: i really don't know...

Barrel: looks too fresh...

Lock: yeah...

Shock: even the milk is good...

Barrel: I'M SO HUNGRY!

Sarah: well you have food right there!

Barrel: well it's too fresh...

Maleigha: it's disgusting that's what it is...

Sarah: I think it's good...

Brittany: i don't... i won't even touch it!

Barrel: I agree with those two...

Lock: me too...

Shock: gets up I'm not eating this... goes and throws it away

Lock and Barrel do the same, they come back

Amanda: why'd you do that?

Lock: it looked disgusting

Maleigha: you eat snake and spider stew for god's sake! and you think THIS is bad points to the thing that looks like a brain

Barrel: yep...

Nicole: you're weird...

Shock: we know

Sarah: i meant to ask you before... but why are you covered in chalk dust?

Lock: is that all people ask me around here!?!?!?!?!?!?!?.

Sarah: it was just a question

Lock: a dumb one...

Maleigha: you didn't!

Shock: didn't what?

Maleigha: you know what i mean

Shock: EWWW NO!

Maleigha: oh not THAT!

Lock: hope you don't mean that...

Maleigha: what'd you do to her room?

Barrel: NOTHING…!

Maleigha: you did do it then

Lock: you scare me...

Maleigha: why? just cuz i know?

Lock: yeah...

Shock: that IS a bit creepy...

Maleigha: i can't help it if i know...

Barrel: yes you can... all you have to do is become dumb like Lock and me!

Lock: HEY!

Barrel: you're right... i'm not dumb... it's just you

Lock: why i'm gonna! starts to climb over the table but is stopped by shock

Shock: we're already in enough trouble... plus you know it's true...

Lock: glares at shock your lucky you know

Shock: i know! -

Barrel: EVIL!!!!!!!!!!

everybody looks at him

Barrel: what? what i do?

Shock: everything, now just SHUT UP!

Barrel: fine! whatever...

Shock: no it's NOT fine!!! It's NEVER fine! storms out of the lunch room

Lock to the others: she has major mood swings... don't mind her...

Shock: I HEARD THAT!

Lock: crap runs out the back door thing

Barrel: that was easy!

Sarah: what was? i'm lost!

Barrel: then my work here is done! walks away

Amanda: WHAT WORK!!!!!!!!!!


	7. study hall hmmm

Study Hall!!!!!!!!! dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn

Lock: I wanna laser beam gun thing

Shock: why?

Barrel: because he wants one!!! hit shock on the head with a book

Shock: hey! tackles him

Lock walks into the classroom

Kane: YOU!

Lock: me?

Kane: YOUUUUUUU!!!!

Lock: meeeeeee?

Kane: what did you dooooooooooooo

Lock: nothingggggggggggg

Kane: then why is my classroom like thisssssssss?

Lock: do you have a laser beam gun thingggggggg

Shock: why are you all talking like that?

Lock: becausssssssssssse

Shock: well stop it it's annoying!

Barrel: I think it's funnnnnnnnn

Shock: ARGH! stomps away

Kane: she's got issues don't she?

Shock: I heard that... again!

Lock: yeah! she already heard that... STOP COPING ME!

Kane: I'm not coping you!

Lock: yes you are... in your head!

Kane: no i'm not!

Lock: yes you are... SEE your doing it again!

Kane: no i'm no-

Lock: stoppit!

Kane: you stoppit!

Lock: your still doing it!

Kane: no i'm not!

Lock: yes you are

Kane: no i'm not

Lock: ye- no i'm not!

Kane: YES YOU ARE!!!!

Lock: told you... your still doing it!

Kane: arghhhhhhhhhh

Shock: now your coping me!!! stop it with the coping

Barrel: i know you want to be exactly like me but you just can't

Lock: YOU? SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE ME!!!!

Shock: your both wrong... she wants to be like me sooo much that she's ending up like you cuz we all know you want to be like me so she's trying to act like you who are trying to act like me but i know you will never be like me ever in your small pathetic undead lives cuz you know i'm better than you...

Lock: ...

Barrel: ...

Kane: ...

Shock: what?

Lock: wow... i knew you talked but not THAT much!

Barrel: actually I knew she talked that much... she never shuts up when ever you go somewhere...

Shock: no I don't!

Barrel: yes you dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shock: uh...

Lock: yeah...

Kane: okay peoples... get back to work!

LSB: but i don't wanna!

Barrel: i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't WANNA!

Shock: i'm in no way related to him...

Lock: i'm glad i'm not...

Kane: if you want to act like a kindergardener then go to manson park!

Barrel: I DON'T WANNA!!!!!! runs out of the room screaming

Kane: COME BACK HERE YOU FREAK!!! runs after him

Shock: oooooooo the teacher called barrel a freak!!!

Lock: at least it's better than what that drama teacher said...

Shock: yeah...

barrel runs by the door screaming, kane follows behind him

Kane: come back here you... you... ah crap i'm in a school!!!

Barrel: stops i'm an ah crap i'm in a school?

Kane: RAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Barrel: EEEEEEEK!!!! starts running again

Lock: wow... i've never heard him eeeeeek before... it sounds funny...

Shock: you sound funny... i'm gonna go bug that mr. kane guy about getting my laptop... wanna come?

Lock: yea

to the office thing

Lock: humming we're off to see the wizard

Shock: what are you doing?

Lock: One by one we bite the dust, kick the bucket and begin to rust give up your course when your number's up we all fall down! Ashes to ashes bones to paste you wither away in your resting place enternity in a wooden case! WE ALL FALL DOWN!!!!! (A/N: yeah i know i probably got that wrong...)

Shock: what?

Lock: do i have to sing it again?

Shock: no...

Lock: hey! we're here!!!

Shock: do you have to be that obvious?

Lock: yes

Shock: are you sure your not barrel in lock's body???

Lock: ...no

Shock: ah well... goes up to mr. kane

Mr: what did you do

Lock: WHY DO THEY ALL ASK THAT QUESTION?????????? I DID NOTHING!!!!!! cowers in a corner

Shock: don't mind him... the plan's been hatched!

Mr: what?

Shock: hello everybody!

Mr: okay... to mrs. thompson contact that mentel facility in tokyo!

Shock: I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!

Mrs. Dustin: QUIET IN THE HALLS!!!!!

Shock: I'M NOT IN THE HALLS SO NEHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Dustin: i don't care!

Mr: well i do! mrs. dustin just go away

Mrs. Dustin: FINE no one appreciates me!!!

Shock: wonder why...

Mr: what do you want?

Shock: when will i get a labtop?

Mr: soon

Shock: that means i'll never get it??? sniffles waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock: there there shock pats her arm you'll get it eventually

Mr: do i know you? you look oddly familiar...

Lock: yeah... i came in earlier cuz that gramcracker woman sent me

Mr: YOU!!! noooooooooooooo

Shock: i want my labtop i want my laptop!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr: go away!!! far away!!!!

Lock: but... but... you don't like me anymore??

Shock: you don't like him anymore?

Mr: i never liked him!

Lock: gasps you fill my heart with joy my sweet walrus!

Mr: WHAT?

Shock: WHAT?

Barrel: HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY THE CLOAK LINES!!!!

Kane: you get back here you!!!

Barrel: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

Mr: runs after them

Shock: but what about my labtop??? runs after them too

Lock: sits down in a corner crying my sweet walrus left me!!!!!

Eithan: can i be your sweet walrus my little pumpernickle???

Lock: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU HOMO!!!!! YOUR WORSE THAN THE MAYOR!!!! runs screaming, eithan following

Eithan: come back!!!!!!

Mr: terri! what are you doing to that poor innocent child???

Kane: strangleing barrel lets him go nothing!

Mr: how could you!?

Barrel: rubbing his neck yeah how could you?

Kane: he distroyed my room and did various other crimes!!!!

Mr: then you send him to me!!!

Kane: but... but... but...

Shock: I want my laptop!!!!!

Lock: i want my sweet walrus!! hugs mr. kane's middle

Shock: i thought i was your sweet walrus!!!! punches lock

Lock: OW!!! takles her

Barrel: hey!!! that's not fair!!! kicks shock

Shock: grabs his ankle, he falls SHUT UP!!!!!

Eithan: don't hurt my love!!!!!!!

Shock and Barrel: we'll hurt him as much as we want!!!

Eithan: NOOO!!!!!!! charges at S and B makeing them hit the wall

Lock: HEY!!!! I had it under controll!!!!!

Shock: ow

Barrel: My TaLoPaS!!!!

Shock: Your WHAT?

Barrel: my talopas...

Shock: i don't even wanna kno...

Barrel: no.. you don't! -

Lock: Are you two okay?

Barrel and Shock: yeah...

Eithan: are you hurt my love? goes to hug lock

Lock: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERV! runs

Eithan: NEVER!!!!!!! follows COME MY MINIONS... RISE FOR YOUR MASTER... LET YOU EVIL SHINE!!!!!!!

Shock: uhhhhhhhhh

Barrel: and i thought I had problems...

Eithan: I was once the most mystical man in all of russia!

Lock: WHAT!?!?!???

Eithan: you heard me! you WILL fall into place!

Lock: of what?

Eithan: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmah

Lock: too late :P!

Eithan: just shut up and kiss me!

All: WHAT???

Mr: You! office NOW!

Eithen: b- but neoooooo!!!!!

Mr: go on! (throws him into his office) swooooooooshhhhhhhh

Mr Nevans: Hello little child!

Eithan: (stutters nonscence i don't feel like writing)

Nevans: you want a piece of me or what?

Eithan: n-n-no sir... runs away

Nevans: yeah you run away! kids...

Lock: WOW! it's like he has total controll over people! (runs up to nevans) teach me!

Nevans: no

Lock: PLEASE!

Nevans: NO!

Lock: I'll do anything! ANYTHING!!!!

Nevans: anything?

Lock: well maybe not EVERYTHING...

Nevan: than i won't do it!

Lock: (evil glare) you better teach me or i will personally send you to he-

Barrel: elephant land!

Lock: WHAT? oh never mind... (back to nevans) you better!

Mr: or what?

Lock: or i'll send you to he-

Barrel: ELEPHANT LAND!!!!!!!

Lock: SHUT UP!!!!

Barrel: MAKE-ETH ME!!!!

Lock: grrrrraaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! (starts clawing barrel)

Barrel: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!! SHOCK! HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

Shock: no, this is funny

Kane: no it's NOT! (trys to pull lock off barrel)

Lock: NO! i will not be defeated by an old lady! NEVER WILL I BE DEFEATED!!!!!

Shock: but what about that time when I defeated you at kick the barrel or at hide and go shreek?

Lock: (stops attacking barrel) (stands) (points at her) THAT has nothing to do with this!

Barrel: YOU SAVED ME!!!!!

Lock: no she didn't... (starts to attack barrel again)

Ami: (puff of smoke) you kick the barrel?

Shock: WOW! where did YOU come from?

Maleigha: (another puff of smoke) yeah...?

Shock: STOP POPPING UP PLACES!!!

Maleigha and Ami: no!

Ami: what do you mean you KICK THE BARREL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Shock: i mean I kick barrel...

Ami: YOU SHALL PAY!!! (takles shock)

Maleigha: wow...

kylie: (yet ANOTHER puff of smoke) I kno...

Maleigha: STOP POPPING UP PLACES!!!!! (runs away screaming)

Kylie: uh... yeah... (walks out the door)

Lock: HEY LOOK! A LITTLE KID ATTACKING SHOCK!

Barrel: let's go watch!

Ami: I will beat you into pulp!

Kane: this is a very long study hall...

Maleigha: I agree

Kane: maybe we need to start social studies...

Maleigha: or maybe we can just go home?

Kane: no... social studies is way more important than home... TO THE S.S MOBILE! (runs away)

Maleigha: she's lost it...

Mr: yes... yes she has...

Maleigha: TIME FOR S.S!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock, Shock, Barrel, Ami: but... but... NEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Maleigha: yes! welcome to INALILEATION, THE DEVISTATION ACROSS THE NATION!!!!!!!!

LSB and Ami: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maleigha: YES!!! MWAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i feel evil... YEA!


	8. The Social Studies Mobile

Social Studies!!!!!! no... grrrah! ah well... we all gotta do it and face the wrath of... MRS.KANE!!!!!! who has cancer so lets all bow our heads in silence... OKAY! Silence over!!!! back to whatever weird stuff I make up... - YEA!

Lock: why does there HAVE to be a social studies moblie? I HATE MOBILES!!!! they're always pink... and fluffy... I HATE FLUFFY!!!!

Shock: what about Mr. Tubble-wubbles?

Lock: (gasps) you leave Mr. Tubble-wubbles OUT of this!

Shock: lock LOVES pink fluffy things... don't you little Locky? (pinches his cheak)

Lock: (takles her) DON'T CALL ME LOCKY!!!!!

Barrel: you'd never guess...

Random person i don't feel like naming: never guess what?

Barrel: did you not hear the conversation at lunch?

Random no name person: no...

Barrel: let's rewind then shall we?!?

(tape rewinds back to lunch)

Lunch room line thing

Katie: where were you lock? i was so worried!

Barrel: Here we have Katie interigating lock

Lock: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Katie: and why are you covered in chalk dust? Did shock do something to you?

Barrel: Katie thinks shock did something to lock...

Shock: I didnt' do anything to him!!!!

Katie: oh sure...

Emily: You really like this guy? he's so...

Katie: he's sooo... WHAT?

Barrel: that was katie dissin' her friend

Emily: never mind...

Katie: i thought so... to lock so where did you go?

Lock: WE went to do something for the drama teacher...

Katie: your lying

Lock: looks at her like he does Jack no i'm not...

Katie: don't be rude to me! I DO love you you know...

Lock: i know...

Katie: and are you happy for that?

Lock: no... not really...

Barrel: burn from lock...

Katie: WHAT!? WHY!?

Lock: cuz i like shock so deal with it!!!!

Katie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! she explodes into little tiny peices of confettii

Barrel: and here's katie blowing up to smitheriens... or confettii... WHATEVER! girls here confuse me...

Emily: YOU KILLED HER!!!!!

Lock: I didn't do anything!!

Shock: you love me?

Barrel: now the annoying part... i swear that writer wrote this just to get my goat...!

Emily: YES YOU DID!!!!!!!!! YOU WERE THE ONLY GUY WHO EVER TURNED HER DOWN AND YOU KILLED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock: go me!!!

Shock: you LOVE me?

Emily: NO! NOT GO YOU!!!! YOU SHOULD DIE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID!!!!

Lock: it's kida too late for that...

Shock: you actually LOVE me!?

Emily: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S KINDA TOO LATE?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!???!?!?! 

Lock: i'm already dead...

Shock: why didn't you tell me before!!!???

Barrel: and now emily goes absolutly... BONKERS!!! haven't used that word in a long time...

Emily: YOU'RE DEAD!?!?!?!???!!!

Lock: yep, have been for fourty years...

Shock: to barrel he loves me...! barrel just looks at her

Barrel: as if i didn't already kno that... DAMN YOU WRITER!!!

Emily: FOURTY YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lock: yeah... fourty LONG years...

Shock: i can't believe he loves me...

Emily: YOU STILL SHOULD DIE!!!!!!!

Lock: can't...

Shock: lock sharples loves ME!

Emily: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T???????????

Lock: i already told you!

Shock: he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me...

Barrel: I never knew she was this repetitive...

Emily: WELL GET UNDEAD SO I CAN KILL YOU!!!!

Lock: uh... that's kinda impossible you know...

Shock: you love m-

Barrel: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barrel: i got kinda mad there...

crickets

Barrel: thank you!

Barrel: END OF REWIND!!!!!

Kane: now! the civil war is VERY important... it requires CRAFT, CUNNING, MISTUOUS! (a/n: or whatever the last word is...)

Barrel: aren't you gonna stop them? (points to lock and shock)

Kane: why should i... it's not any of MY buissiness!!

Barrel: well it was a while ago...

Kane: BACK TO THE CIVIL WAR!

Barrel: awww

Kane: the civil war was

Lock: Fluffy!?

Shock: pink!?

Kane: NO! It bloody, VERY bloody!

LSB: Bloody!?

Lock: why didn't you say so in the first place?

Shock: I know! It would have saved you from all of your torment

Barrel: YES! ALL of your torment!

Kane: but I never went through any-

Barrel: (kinda sounds like zim) YES yes you did!

Kane: fine! whatever! I did... n't NOW BACK TO WAR!

Lock: war? I like war, who ever said they hated war was a stupid person... war's fun! and intertaining... BUT FUN!

Kane: war is not fun! It's horrible!

Lock: yeah.. horrible FUN

Kane: (groans) just take your seat and be quiet

Lock: I am in my seat. SEE? right next to this freak here! (points to maleigha)

Maleigha: HEY! your lucky I dun't punch you right now!

Lock: (laughs) you and your infintile little jokes! why if you punched me right now then you would get into trouble young grasshopper!

Maleigha: did you just call me a grasshopper?

Shock: did you just call her a grasshopper?

Barrel: grasshoppers are good... (stares out into space)

Eithan: DOOOOOOM!

Lock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! he's back!

Maleigha: he he ha ha ho ho! your DOOOOOOM has been met! (five seconds later) hey wait... that's not good!!

Lock: no it isn't!

Kane: can we just PLEASE get back to the civil war like CIVIL people?

Shock: tee hee... she said civil twice...

Barrel: I dun't get it...

Shock: hmmmmmm let's see now... AH HA!!! you might be a redneck if you did what amanda did!!!

Barrel: (gasps) what'd she do?

Shock: i dun't know... 

Maleigha: ooo ooo! I kno I KNO!!!!

Shock and barrel: WHAT!?

Maleigha: i'm a tree you a tree we a tree they a tree I like trees trees trees trees are FUN! I like the trees, trees help you breath! they also are pretty and colorfull and you know what you know WHAT!?

Shock and barrel:...

Barrel: (quietly) what?

Maleigha: CATS! oh i do love cats cats are pretty and come in all different colors like the trees... did you kno cats breath AIR?? and trees MAKE air so like like like like the cats and the trees are like related so like the cat should have like leaves and the tree should have a tail... or does it already HAVE a tail I mean do the roots count as a tail cuz they are tail LIKE and does the cat REALLY have leaves? I guess the whiskers could be like steams and the leaves are invisible... did you kno i wrote a story on how the cat got it's whiskers? it got stuck in a pricker bush and like like like like he like died adn like got like whiskers and like he just like DIED! and now i'm sad cuz my non money got donated to me but i gots to do the dishes for it and i dun't LIKE dishes...

Class: ...

Maleigha: what!? you told me to talk more... SO I DID!!! HA!!!!!

Lock: if we back away slowly maybe she won't hear us...

Maleigha: I HEARD THAT!!!! and guess WHAT!? you just put yourself in a VERY bad possition cuz you talked and now i will be watching your EVERY move... HA! i feel so very evil and talkitive right now but strangely normal... like everything i'm saying isn't weird or just plain i dun't kno... i'm kinda tired right now too and my back hurts a bit and now i think i might go to sleep... WAIT! I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP! I'm in school and later i have to like go to stupid stuffs like ninja kick butt school and like go and torment my mum by talking like 16 bagillion times!

Lock: i'd like to see her talk to jack...

Maleigha: gasps COULD I?? i mean he's been like my childhood infatuation for like EVER! but now he's not and YOU are... he he he he he he he he he eh ah ah eh eh eh haaaa... yeah... good days were like getting wrapped up in green stuff and walking all over town... 

Kane: I never thought i would ever have to do this... expessially to you maleigha... (presses a button) (Maleigha falls through a hole)

Lock: AWESOME! (looks into hole) where does it go WHERE DOES IT GOOOOOO???

Kane: the mental faciality in tokyo...

Lock: oh...

kane: would YOU like to go to?

Lock: no...

Sarah: look at her go! was that your last refurral button thingy? or do we gots more passes?

Kane: they're all gone... we gotta wait till next month to get more... and remember... we only get three...

Maleigha: WOW! they got staight jackets here too! AWESOME!!!!

Lock: she yells loud...

Sarah: very loud...

Kane: someone close that hole up...

Barrel: BUT I WANNA GOOOOOOOOO TO!

Shock: don't start with that oooooooooooooooo thing again... that was wicked annoying!

Barrel: (pouts) but that was fun... (looks into the hole) it looks like they're having fun down there...

in the hole: HI! what's your name?

a guys voice: mace

a girls voice: shard

maleigha: i wanna cool name like that! (gasps) my name's slash!

Mace and shard: KEWL!

Kane: (closes the hole) i fear that's not the last we'll hear from her...

Lock: why is it fear? you shouldn't feel fear! fear is for losers!

Shock: guess your the biggest one of all then...

Sarah: talking is better than words!

Lock and Shock: WHAT!?

Sarah: talking is better than words!

Kane: I don't have anymore passes Sarah... so don't make me make you pay for the mental facility!

Sarah: but it's TRUE!

Kane: shut UP! okay... we have a guest speaker coming in from a different school in a distant land...


	9. The Honored Guest

Barrel: oooo

Barrel: oooo!! i wonder who it could be!!

Lock: if they're from a different school they probably suck... like everyone else here

Barrel: don't be such a party-pooper Locky Lock!

Lock- what did I say about calling me Locky Lock!?

Barrel: **thinks** ...ummm... not to...?

Lock: yes! So stop!

Barrel: but Locky Lo- i mean Lock!!

Kane: Shut up! You don't want to disrespect the honored guest!

Barrel: seeee Lock, they're HONORED, they must be cool!!

Lock: you know what? i don't even care right now...

Barrel: **gasp** you don't care?

Lock: nope... nor do i want to care...

Sarah: OMG!! there they are!!

(a shadow flicks passed the door window thing...)

Barrel: I'm so excited! EEE!! XD

Shock: **seams to have missed everything** huh? what's happening?

Barrel and Kane: SHH!! you'll anger the honored guest!

Shock: umm... ok

Lock: this is so stupid! i mean why do we even have a gu-

(the door blows open)

Barrel and Kane: **drop to their knees and bow** oh honored guest!

Kane: you are our hero

Barrel: our life!

Kane: my AIR!! **reaches for them**

Barrel: I love yoooouuuuu!!

Kane: **stops reaching and looks at barrel** WHAT!? no! he's MINE!! **tackles barrel**

Barrel: **tries to get closer to the guest** you... can't... take my... love from meee!!

Kane: oh yes I can!!

Honored guest: Please, please. I do not wish to be fought over. Even though i am just a gorgeous assistant head of school thing (a/n: i'm not really sure what he is... lol) from the High School all of you will be attending next year. And every Wednesday you can hear me, Mr. Price, talk ever so energetically into the school's horrible microphone about how sweaters are not allowed in next year's dress code, whilst pacing back and forth in front of you students, much as i am right now, so you can marvel at my brilliance.

Lock: Brilliance? HA!! Your just some balding old guy who likes to get girls in your office!

Price: excuse me?

Lock: you heard me

Barrel and Kane: **gasp**

Price: **glares** you are lucky you aren't in my school youn-

Random person from MCI (the high school): It's not your school!!

Price: **to random person** i will deal with you later

Random person: sure... **walks away**

Lock: you think your so big and bad and... and bad! But your not.

Barrel and Kane: Don't insult the honored guest!!

Shock: ok... you really need to stop with all that honored guest crap. It's getting annoying.

Barrel and Kane: SHUN THE NON BELIEVER!!

Class: SHHHHUUUUUNNNNNNN!! **moves close to her, possessed looking**

Shock: I thought you were shunning me! **they come closer** Don't you know what shunning means!? **they grab her and start pulling her to the dungeon** Since when does a school have a dungeon!? LOOCK!! HELP ME!! **gets thrown into it and the door closes, shutting out her cries**

Lock: huh... i wonder where Shock went... ah well! What if i LIKE insulting the honored guest? HUH??

Barrel: well if you really want to Locky poo...

Kane: Don't give into him Barrel! Protect the honored guest!

Barrel: Sorry Locky poo, but i've decided that what we had in the past, can never be reformed... I have found another! And i'm sorry Lock, I truly am! I just hope I haven't broken your poor heart with my new choice for love!! **clings to Price's leg**

Price: ummm... i'm sorry kid, but i don't like little boys. But if you really want I could call my good friend Orochimaru. He might be a little bit occupied with his little Sasuke... but i'm sure he could fit you into his schedule.

Barrel: But I don't want this a-roach-i-maroo person!! I want you!! clings even more I love you!! **starts to cry**

Price: **sighs** fine, if you love me i guess i could make a small adjustment in my tastes. You just better not tell anyone about this, and it's only for a night.

Barrel: only a night? **sigh** fine... anything for my love!!

Lock: You have fun with that...

Barrel: It'll be better than you!!

Lock: I never even did anything with you!!

Barrel: I know your going through a tough time right now... but you need to just stop lying to yourself, it helps you heal. **pats lock's hand**

Lock: **yanks his hand away** god i hate you!

Barrel: now there's no use in getting angry at someone who didn't do anything to you.

Lock: UGH!! **walks away… far away**

Barrel: aww…. He left…. **turns to Mr. Price** why did he leave?

Price: because I'm too hot for him

Barrel: **smiles** you are! **hugs price again**

Price: oh great……

Kane: but…. But what about me oh honored, hot one? Don't you love me?

Price: sorry lady…. But I'm too hot for you too

Kane: **starts to cry** but….. but…..

Price: plus I don't like elderly women….. or men….

Kane: But what about that lady person that yells at people for getting out of their cars and being 'inconsiderate'?

Price: oh her? I killed her…

Barrel: Wow your soo cool!! You're my dream come true!!

Price: right…. **turns to the class** and now for the actual reason for me being here!

Class: **intrigued**

Price: as you know… tomorrow is 8th grade step up day

Random classroom person: it is?

Price: YES! It is…. And on this step up day I shall be watching each and every one of you…. To see which one I would like to put in my collection -- I mean special helper's group!

Class: OOOOOOOOOOO!

Barrel: I wanna be in it! Can I can I can I??

Price: **sigh** will it get you to shut up?

Barrel: yeeeesssssss

Price: ok…. Fine, you're in

Barrel: YAAAAAAAYYY!! -

Price: and now I must be on my way, many more classrooms to go to…. And many more little girls and boys to show my hotness to….

Maleigha: **pops out of no where** wow he's creepy….

Barrel: **gasp** I-I thought you were gone forever!!

Maleigha: yes… well… that was the plan, but now I'm cured and this is me from the future…. Coming back to here because after next year… I move away…

Barrel: aww… how sad **hugs her** and did you come back in time just to see me?

Maleigha: umm… no. anyway… I'm gonna go find my past's future best friends…. Bye! **vanishes in a puff of smoke**

Barrel: ok… that was weird… HEY! Where did shock go?

Shock: **muffled cries**

Barrel: **wonders out into the hallway** shock!? Shock!!

Dustin: QUIIET!!

Barrel: **ignores her** shock!?

Shock: **closer muffled cries**

Barrel: **finds the dungeon and pulls open the door **Shock!!

Shock: finally! What have you been doing!?

Barrel: wouldn't you like to know…

Shock: ugh…. **looks around** where's Lock?

Barrel: oh him…. Well, he stomped off after I told him we couldn't be together anymore because me and Mr. Price are destined to be!!

Shock: right…. Well help me find him

Barrel: ok! -


	10. Finding Lock

_**Before I begin the story and my author's note, I would like to say that on April 13, 2009 Mrs. Kane died of cancer. She was my 7**__**th**__** and 8**__**th**__** grade teacher and I'll miss her. She was a great teacher. **_

**Once again… I'm sorry for the horrendously long wait! I've been doing a lot lately. Like school and exams and forgetting what I had in mind for this story… But other than that I'm back now! And I will (hopefully) finish this story before the end of summer. And if I don't you guys are welcome to pester me as much as you want about my bad updating skills. **

Barrel: **sigh **we've been searching for HOURS where is he?

Shock: we haven't been searching for hours it's only been a few minutes retard

Barrel: Oh…. But still! Where is he??

Shock: If I knew I wouldn't be looking now would I?

Barrel: …. No

Shock: Exactly. Now shut up and look in that room while I look in this one.

Barrel: Fine……. **Walks off to where shock pointed **

Shock: **opens classroom door and finds a black hole.** Wow. I wonder if he went in there? **Starts to walk into the blackness of doom **

Barrel: SHOCK!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! **Runs to her, trips, and then falls into shock who falls into the black hole. **

Shock: **while falling into the black abyss. **Barrel! What have you done!!!!?

Barrel: I… I… I don't know!? **Clings to Shock **we're gonna die!!! **Starts to cry**

Shock: We're not gonna die, we're already dead!

Barrel: We're gonna be double dead!!!

Shock: Ugh!

Barrel and Shock: **Fall onto a hard ground and are surrounded by birch bark trees **

Shock: **looks around **where are we?

Barrel: I don't know…. Hey Shock look! **Points to a field **White grass!!!! That's so AWESOME!!! **Bounces up and down all happy-like **

Lock: Shock! Barrel! You came for me!!!! **Runs over to them **

Shock and Barrel: Lock!

**Shock and Barrel run towards Lock and the trio falls into a group hug and starts to laugh and cry of happiness and stuff that they wouldn't want you to know because it's too out of character and would ruin the nice little reputation they've built up for themselves. And as this is all happening Shock and Lock find them selves in a passionate kiss! (a/n: ha! No I lie! No kiss =P) **

Lock: I thought I'd never see you guys again!

Shock: I was so worried! We didn't know where you were!

Barrel: LOCKYKINS!!!

Lock: **ignores barrel **So how'd you get here?

Shock: I found a black hole and barrel pushed us in

Barrel: I tripped!

Lock: Barrel! How dare you push Shock into a black hole!

Shock: Yeah! How dare you push me!

Barrel: But!!

Lock: And here I thought you were the nice one of us and you go THROWING Shock through a portal of DOOM!

Shock: Exactly! My own cohort! I'm so disappointed in you!

Barrel: Would you be disappointed if I said that whilst we where falling I impregnated Lock with my baby and now in nine months he's going to have little puppy devils come out of his butt?

Shock and Lock: ………………………………………………….

Barrel: Just making sure you where listening. **Walks away toward the white grass whistling the oogie boogie song **

Shock: You're going to have PUPPIES?

Lock: Wha… NO!

Shock: And all this time I thought you loved me! But there you are… getting it on with my almost brother as I'm falling to my impending double death!

Lock: But we didn't do anythi….

Shock: No Lock! No! I'm tired of the lies you keep telling me! I'm tired of leading a double life with you! I'm tired of… of being tired! **Stomps away **

Lock: I'm not having puppies!!!!!!!!!! **Sits down cross-legged and pouts** Stupid Barrel, stupid Shock, stupid puppies…..

**To Barrel!**

Barrel: **amazed** It looks like snow, but it isn't snow. It looks like frost, but it isn't frost. It's really just... white! I LOVE IT!! Marry me white grass and love me in ways neither Lock nor Mr. Price could! **Flops down and rolls around on the grass **Give me babies!

**Not too far from where Barrel was he heard a small cry, and then another, and another! Barrel looked to where the noise was coming from and saw babies appearing all around him on the white grass. **

Barrel: It's a miracle! **Tries to hug the grass but fails. He looks up and sees dozens of babies around him. **Ummm… that's enough babies… **the babies stop appearing. **

Barrel: Shock! SHOCK! You have to see this!!!!!

Shock: **sighs, **what!? **Sees the babies. **Why are you surrounded by drooly, poopy thingys?

Barrel: I wished for it and it was **his eyes get really big**

Shock: Riight…. Have fun with your babies

Barrel: Oh I will! I will have more fun with these babies than anyone has ever had fun with them before! Soon my name will be the first to graze baby's lips everywhere and I will be the ruler of them ALL! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shock: … you have fun with that.

Barrel: Oh I will! I will have more fun with these babies than anyone-

Shock: yeah yeah, I know… and you will be ruler blah blah blah. Then you laugh like a maniac. You don't have to repeat it twice.

Barrel: Oh… well then. Babies! **All the babies look at Barrel **It is now that I shall name you! Please make a single file line directly in front of me. **The babies do as told!!!! **He he he, I could get used to this!

**Off to Lock**

Lock: Oh great… **looks up at Shock who was standing in front of him **you're here…

Shock: And what's that supposed to mean?

Lock: aren't you mad?

Shock: When you are me you have to be awesome enough to forgive and forget, so I have, and now I'm still awesome.

Lock: oh…..

**The look away awkwardly **

Shock: Barrel looks like he's having fun

Lock: yeah…. The grass is pretty cool I guess

Shock: it is…

Lock: So uh…. How are you?

Shock: **sits next to lock **alright, you?

Lock: Same….

Lock and Shock: yeah………. **Look away from each other again**

Lock: **a while later** you know… about the whole loving you thing…?

Shock: **sounding dreadfully hopeful **yes?

Lock: **breathes in deeply **its true **looks at shock **

Shock: really? **smiles**

Lock: mmhmm **smiles back**

Shock: I love you too

**Back to Barrel!**

Barrel: And you will be Doogie, and your name will be Frank, and this one here will be Topeka and you my final baby will be…. Fin-ale! Yay! Now my 27 babies are named! The only thing is they don't have clothes…. I wish for my babies to be clothed! **The babies are magically clothed in cute baby clothes that would make anybody's eyes bleed from cuteness. **Alright my now named and clothed babies! I am going to teach you how to speak ok?

Babies: OK!!!

Barrel: **dabs eyes with a handkerchief** I'm so proud! ^ - ^ Lock! Shock! I taught my babies their first word! Guys!!! **Glances over at Lock and Shock who are viciously making out upon the pretty white grass **Ugh! My eyes!!!! We have children here people! Children! **To the babies,** Babies! Do not look! It's horrible!

Babies: **they don't look**

Barrel: My precious white grass, please make a wall so our babies and I cannot see such a sight! **A white wall comes from the ground** God I love this place!!! LET'S NEVER LEAVE!!!!

Babies: We'll never leave dada!

Barrel: **sniff** I'm a father! Hug me my babies!

**Babies and Barrel have a group hug on the white grass that somehow joins the hug **

Barrel: We will be a happy family until the end of time!

Lock: Hey Barrel! You can put the wall down and say bye to the babies.. we gotta go home.

Barrel: But… But!!!! My babies! I can't leave me babies!!!

Lock: What about Three of a kind, birds of a feather, now and forever?

Shock: Yeah! And what about your new found love Mr. Price?

Barrel: Oh yeah….. that. But guys! Here I'm a father! Here all my dreams come true and I will never die!

Shock: How many times do I have to say it… Your already dead!

Lock: and even though your away from here you'll always be a father. You can always visit you know.

Barrel: But then I'd be a bad father! One who abandons his children when times are rough! A father like… like mine! And I promised I would never be like him! Never!!

Shock: when we get back I'll give you your lolli back.

Barrel: SOLD!!!! Goodbye babies! I have a life to go back to!

Babies: Goodbye father!

Barrel: White grass of whiteness, take Lock, Shock and I back to Warsaw Middle School!

**The trio disappears in a whirlwind of colours, leaving only black where they once stood**

**Back At Warsaw!!!!!!!**

Lock: well that was…. Fun?

Barrel: Yeah… Hey Shock, can I have my lolli back now?

Shock: I don't have it, it was in your pocket the whole time.


End file.
